I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
