Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
