it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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