i don't like sucking hair
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
