After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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