I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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