She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize