i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
