There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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