I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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