my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
