upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize