hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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