Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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