super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
