i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
