Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
