How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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