why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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