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break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
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