Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

what do you have against ST

(1-540): View more from Virginia

DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?

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(813): View more from Florida

So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?

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(516): View more from New York

i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.

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(207): View more from Maine

Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?

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