Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours

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(615): Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours http://tfl.nu/h5ci

Replies (10) Good night (4064) Bad night (950)
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(720): View more from Colorado

i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them

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(720): i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them http://tfl.nu/2pf7

Replies (2) Good night (4688) Bad night (760)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.

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(615): my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap. http://tfl.nu/2c94

Replies (27) Good night (4314) Bad night (823)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience

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(603): i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience http://tfl.nu/wb3q

Replies (37) Good night (6609) Bad night (942)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.

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(306): I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters. http://tfl.nu/tngh

Replies (16) Good night (1027) Bad night (8090)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?

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(504): how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades? http://tfl.nu/s5wu

Replies (79) Good night (15901) Bad night (2994)
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(256): View more from Alabama

There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him

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(256): There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him http://tfl.nu/3qir

Replies (17) Good night (3743) Bad night (1048)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."

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(267): Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too." http://tfl.nu/ac9x

Replies (4) Good night (2682) Bad night (1058)
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(226): View more from Ontario

This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex

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(226): This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex http://tfl.nu/70co

Replies (7) Good night (1937) Bad night (1084)
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(785): View more from Kansas

You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever

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(785): You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever http://tfl.nu/34h5

Replies (2) Good night (1341) Bad night (528)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.

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(202): I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it. http://tfl.nu/m7ga

Replies (23) Good night (716) Bad night (2274)
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(562): View more from California

Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!

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(562): Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?! http://tfl.nu/ufe7

Replies (6) Good night (382) Bad night (609)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.

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(405): Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro. http://tfl.nu/hr0t

Replies (1) Good night (830) Bad night (337)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night

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(860): I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night http://tfl.nu/320l

Replies (2) Good night (328) Bad night (691)
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(254): View more from Texas

We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)

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(254): We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :) http://tfl.nu/s9j9

Replies (8) Good night (722) Bad night (298)

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