WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
