whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
