...so i touched it.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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