i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
