I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
