I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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