I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Alive.
So much puke
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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