He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
