I'm lost and stupid without you.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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