hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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