Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
