M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
