if you like me you must not know who I am
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
