it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
