the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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