I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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