my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's blow job season.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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