I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
