You're so nebulous sometimes
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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