Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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