I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
