So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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