what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Everything about him screamed your future.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
