Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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