So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
