how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize