but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
