I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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