no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
