I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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