i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
