Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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