These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
