It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
