I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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