Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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