We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
