we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
