She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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