If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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